I want to preface this blog post by saying that I am not down playing anyone’s emotions, feelings, or situations by writing this. I am simply writing from my own perspective and my own feelings about my own situation. Basically, please don’t be offended by me sharing my journey!
I have days where I wake up dreading what today will bring. I dread having to wake up extra early so I can shower (hopefully wash my hair too) and make coffee before one of the kids need me. After I’ve showered and started my coffee, I go into the living room. I move the toys, random items, crumbs, and pillows and find a place to sit. As I sit I start to feel anxious. How did this house get so out of control? What’s the point in putting all of these toys away when they will just get drug back out in an hour or two? When will I have time to dust and sanitize like I need to?
When Rowyn wakes up she is instantly demanding food, drink, a show, and to play all in the same sentence. Sigh. I start to get her breakfast going and then Finley awakens. She needs to nurse but I can’t just let these eggs burn! So I fix them as quickly as possible as she cries in my arms. I nurse Fin and she continues to bite. I wince in pain and as I pull back she feels my anxiousness and cries. I change her diaper and put her in her chair to eat.
After breakfast, I put both girls in the play room. I look at the kitchen floor, filled with half eaten cereal puffs, mushed up eggs and toast, dog hair that I cannot seem to shake, and some items I can’t even distinguish. I look again to the dishes that are piled high. Although a dishwasher is a God-send, I forgot to empty it and fill it with new dishes so they’ve accumulated quickly. As I start to clean, here comes the girls. Rowyn wants me to play and stomps off when I tell her I’m busy. Finley crawls over and pulls herself up using my pants. She looks up and cries. As I pick her up I instantly feel frustrated. Frustrated that I can’t just clean up this mess without someone needing/wanting me. Frustrated that I made my oldest daughter upset. Frustrated that I simply don’t have enough time in the day!
As the day goes on, I crawl onto the floor and play the same games and toys that I’ve played a hundred times or more. I change diapers, wipe hands and faces, and lay the girls down for naps. In a moment of solace, it hits me. Life really isn’t as bad as it seems. Honestly, life is better than ever! It hit me that I had spent all day letting anxiety, frustration, and the longing for different situations, ruin my day. In the season of having young kids, it can make you wish your life away at times. But you can’t forget how blessed you are to have your children, their health and intelligence, and the opportunity you have to watch them learn and grow.
Kids have a way of reminding us how blessed we really are. A simple, “I love you, mama” or the sound of laughter between siblings can remind you that the messes can wait but the joy that you and your kids can share together can’t. Don’t waste the time you have with your children. Remember that there are people who would kill to be in your position, with healthy kids and endless amounts of time with them. God has a funny way of reminding us of our blessings. If we didn’t go through difficult times, we may not appreciate the blessings we have as much. Remember that though your day may not be going as planned, it may not really be as bad as it seems!