I’ve been married to my husband now for 3 and a half years. Most days I don’t really think about our marriage, I just wake up and know that we’re doing life together as we do everyday. However, lately I started to think about why it is that we work so well together. Why is it that our marriage doesn’t feel strained most days and why do most of our days together end with no arguments and not going to bed angry? In this post I’ll discuss a few things that Travis and I have found in each other and why those traits have found us successful in our marriage.
Travis and I are complete opposites. I am very laid back in nature and although I am not overly quiet and unfriendly, I’m not very outgoing either. He is beyond outgoing. He calls himself the walking circus and for good reason! He is socially confident and the ultimate extrovert. Because of my laid back nature I am slow to anger, patient, and also compassionate. Travis has a short fuse and has a hard time with compassion at times. These are just a few of our differences but y’all can see that we have very little in common when it comes to our personalities. This plays into our marriage more than anything else! I have rubbed off and on him and him on me to make each other better in the places we are lacking. In these last 3 years, Travis has grown so much in his reactions, his compassion for others, and so much more. I have grown so much in my social confidence and he’s helped me see other perspectives of things that I would have never thought of. They say that opposites attract but they also impact!
Although differences are super important, your significant other must have some major similarities with you as well. One huge similarity that Travis and I shared is our belief and foundation in God and Jesus Christ. I met Travis at church and although we were just friends for quite some time, I knew that when we became serious that our beliefs would ground us together for a lifetime. There would be no arguments over church. There would be no arguments over religion with raising children. There would be no arguments in how we wanted to live our lives and raise our kids because we both believed in God and wanted to follow the instructions in the Bible. Having an equally yoked partner is SO important! “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever” (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, New Living Translation).
It is important to serve one another in a relationship. I’m not talking about serving each other breakfast in bed either. I’m talking about seeing needs in each other’s lives, trying to meet them, and thinking of our significant other before ourselves. Serving each other is important because it teaches us a few things that we will need to get good at if we’re destined for functional, happy marriages. It teaches us to be humble. Understanding that I am not too good to take out the trash and understanding that he is not too good to cook, clean, or do any other type of “woman’s job”, is important. It also helps us not take advantage of one another. If we’re continuously serving one another, each other’s needs are being met and nothing is one-sided. Serving each other also directly involves showing love for one another. It shows that you’re paying attention to one another, know each other’s needs, and care that the needs are being met, even the most insignificant details. Although Travis and I are in a very different stage of life than when we were dating, we continue to serve each other in the smallest ways. Nowadays, the smallest details mean the most and warm my heart daily!
These 3 things are vital to my marriage and although some days they are not easy, it’s important to remember them and practice them. I encourage you all to look for these things in your current or future relationship and if they are not there, see if implementing them could help fix some issues or help solidify some answers you’ve had to some questions. No relationship is easy to maintain, but you just might find one that is worth it with these tips!